Measuring My Life in Haikus

Insomnia

2006-05-26T03:28:00.000-05:00

Four a.m.--- from my
Window I watch the broken
Streetlight flicker out

haiku, poetry, night, insomnia

Dipping my toes back in.

2006-05-03T15:19:00.000-05:00

So here's my tentative return. I don't know if I'll be posting daily for a while, but a start is a start. Here's a quartet of haiku and one other thingamajig.

"Come Home Please"

Daddy come home please
Make the monsters go away
Please daddy come home

"Emptiness"

I keep expecting
Daddy to joke, tease, or yell
But life is silent

"Sunday"

Sunday-- I should be
Repenting, but I prefer
Bed to confession.

"Tottering Towards Normalcy"

Baby steps: toddles,
Falls, and crawls--- I make my way
Back to the world.

"Daddy"

Daddy,
I’m kind of pissed
That you disappeared like this.
I can’t sleep without the sound
Of your snores echoing through the house.
We’ve collected all the pictures,
And I smudge your face with my fingers,
But it’s only a photograph
And I’ll never touch you again.
I just want to hear your voice.
I wouldn’t care if you yelled at me.
Couldn’t you have given some warning?
I never thought you’d die at all,
Let alone so suddenly.
(Please please please
Let me wake up and it’s all been a dream.
You have to give me away at my wedding.
You have to hold your grandchildren.)

haiku, poetry, grief, fathers, loss

Why You Haven't Heard From Me Lately

2006-04-11T18:37:00.000-05:00

I haven't been writing any haiku. I haven't been writing anything. My dad died on March 31st (it will be two weeks on Friday), and I've just been in shock and mourning. My mom and I are both holding up as best we can, but things have been crazy hectic, as well as draining and sad.

I'm going to try to write something tonight, I think. I don't know if I'll succeed. It may take me longer than this to get my words back.

P.S.--- I have the most random ads on the Google Adsense. I don't know why it thinks readers of my poetry want to kill moles. Or get rid of fishy vaginal odors. It's bizarre.

Thirst

2006-03-30T11:20:00.000-05:00

"Thirst"

Spring! I’m so thirsty
I could drink gallons of sun
Rivers of green grass.

haiku, poetry, spring

She's... baaaaaack!

2006-03-29T13:08:00.000-05:00

I haven't been writing my haiku like a good girl lately. I don't know. I've just been kind of sick and depressed and uninspired. I'm feeling much better today, though, and I plan on sticking around from now on.

"Finally"

Sunshine heralds spring
First miniature leaves pop up
I breathe blue sky in

haiku, poetry, spring

Water, water everywhere.

2006-03-25T21:30:00.000-05:00

"Worst Part of Spring"

Unrelenting damp
Soaking sidewalks black, squishing
Grass to mud, rising

haiku, poetry, spring, water

In spring and fall, I often think about leaving.

2006-03-24T12:42:00.000-05:00

"The Politics of Migration"

Geese are coming home;
I just want to fly away.
What can I trade for wings?

haiku, poetry, migration, birds, geese

Egads!

2006-03-23T18:20:00.000-05:00

So my trip to NYC and surrounding areas went great. I ended up taking more of a break from this blog than I had originally planned, however. A weeklong unplanned vacation, pretty much. Anyway, that's all water under the bridge now. I'm back and ready to get writing those haiku!

Here's one:

"Nose"

City smells like pretzels,
Sewer, too many bodies,
And unwashed children.

haiku, poetry, smells, city

Ciao for a bit!

2006-03-15T23:18:00.000-05:00

Didn't get a chance to write anything today. Am bad.

Anyway, I'm off to NYC and Long Island for Spamalot, the St. Paddy's Day parade, and various other festivities. Should be back Saturday night, but I'm probly going to be a zombie, so you probably won't hear from me until Sunday or later.

Have a good weekend, all!

Spring my ass! (in poetic form)

2006-03-14T17:39:00.000-05:00

I'm not in a good mood today. I haven't been in a good mood since last night, really. My fibromyalgia has been really bad since last night, and my stupid stomach is all off again, and I just generally feel like shit. The weather hasn't been helping, either. It was warm all weekend, and yesterday, too, but then it started raining yesterday and by last night it was pouring, thunderstorms, etc. And now today we're back to cold and snowing. I was very foolish in thinking that there was any chance spring had arrived. Blah.

Anyway, two haiku today, inspired by my foul mood and the foul weather.

"Disappointment"

Tricked, believing spring
Here to stay--- ice follows rain,
Snowflakes chill my limbs

"This Chill Between Us"

I’m thinking of you
As snowflakes kiss muddy ground
Lips too cold for spring

haiku, poetry, spring, snow

A Splash of Red

2006-03-13T13:48:00.000-05:00

"A Splash of Red"

Red breasted robin
Leaves a fiery trail
Across gray spring sky

haiku, poetry, spring, birds, robin

Snowdrops

2006-03-12T19:24:00.000-05:00

I seem to have taken a week off from my mission without really intending to... sorry! Basically, I was sick again (stomach complaints argh) and got bogged down in work, real life, etc. as well.

On the bright side, spring seems to be finally arriving in Binghamton! Watch, as soon as I say that, it'll start snowing tonight. But on the bright side, it's been warm (55 to 60 degrees Fahrenheit). Yesterday it was sunny, too, but today was all cloudy and blah.

Cordelia and I saw our first robin of the year yesterday. She barked at it. There's also a bunny living under our back deck and, in another sign of spring, the snowdrops are blooming in the backyard.

Hence, today's haiku.

"Snowdrops"

Snowdrops bloom--- fragile,
White as the winter behind us,
Growing into spring.

haiku, poetry, spring, flowers, snowdrops

The Meaning of Life

2006-03-06T13:02:00.000-05:00

Meh. For Lyd, although it's not very good.

"The Meaning of Life"

She asked me about
The meaning of life, didn’t
Know what to say--- blank

haiku, poetry, the meaning of life

Brrrrr!!!

2006-03-05T13:07:00.000-05:00

It's been very cold here in Bingo-land. More like January weather than March weather. Nonetheless, I went out on Friday night and partied it up like a good college student, then yesterday I went to the St. Patrick's Day Parade, which is always about two weeks early in Binghamton for no discernable reason.

"In Praise of Leftovers"

Grumbling stomach leads
Me downstairs, searching sniffing
Chicken rice dreams

"Too Cold for a Parade"

Cheeks blistered and cold
Watching policemen march by
And politicians smile

haiku, poetry, food, cold, spring, parades

Three is not a crowd.

2006-03-02T20:47:00.000-05:00

I was still kind sick yesterday, but I'm feeling much better today. Which is very good, because I was starting to worry that I had the bird flu. Anyway, the first two I actually wrote yesterday in a fever-inspired haze, but collapsed before I could post them. The third I wrote today, inspired by the horrible horrible no good very bad weather we suffered from today and the way I've been feeling lately.

"(Like the Old Song Says) You Go To My Head"

Not the kind of girl who
Gets drunk off one beer but your
Smile is tequila

"Can't You Almost Smell It?"

Small feet, big snow crunch
We run through yards, girl and dog
Sniffing for spring scents

"March Blizzard"

Sky is a mess of
White— I open my mouth, swallow
Cold snow, salty tears.

haiku, poetry, relationhsips, lust, seasons, winter, spring, snow, depression

I skipped another day.

2006-02-28T16:59:00.000-05:00

I'm siiiick. I was too ill to write anything yesterday, and while I'm still not in tip-top shape, I managed two for today.

"February"

Two dozen or more
Gray snow days--- I lick chapped lips
Wish winter away

"Eternity"

Behold bitter truth---
Fucking groundhog’s right again
We’re stuck with winter

haiku, poetry, February, seasons, winter

(What Remains of Winter) Winds

2006-02-26T14:09:00.000-05:00

"(What Remains of Winter) Winds"

Not a spring breeze yet---
Wind blows cold, making last year’s
Leaves dance in the yard

haiku, poetry, winter, wind

Posting this while I can!

2006-02-25T14:55:00.000-05:00

God, my freaking Internet connection has been going in and out constantly since yesterday. That's why I didn't get a post up yesterday. So here's yesterday's and today's, respectfully, and hopefully my wireless will last long enough for me to post them. (You can totally see my computer woes echoed in the second poem.)

"Rejuvenation"

Standing under the
Shower, hoping the steam will
Make me human again

"Stop Going In and Out (Of My Life)"

You’re unreliable
Like my wireless connection
You waver away

haiku, poetry, showers, relationships, Internet connection

Tired of This

2006-02-23T14:35:00.000-05:00

"Tired of This"

Gray skies and cold feet
Slush on the road before me
One more winter day

haiku, poetry, winter

Scene

2006-02-22T21:45:00.000-05:00

Eh.

"Scene"

Staring at my nails
Chipped gold polish, wondering
Why I’m so alone

haiku, poetry, loneliness

Mistaken for Spring

2006-02-21T23:59:00.000-05:00

Just sneaking this in before midnight... hee. It's kind of a metaphor, OMG.

"Mistaken for Spring"

Late February:
Thought I saw a sparkling bud
On your tree--- only rain

haiku, poetry, spring, seasons, relationships

That ain't no haiku!

2006-02-21T01:00:00.000-05:00

I posted some free verse poems over at my other blog. Go check it out, peeps.

links

Pictorial accompaniment...

2006-02-20T17:21:00.000-05:00

So, these are some pictures I took of Syracuse with my lovely digital camera. I thought I'd put them up as ilustration for this poem, originally posted on February 12th.

"For Syracuse"

Strange, but there’s beauty
In the burnt out factories
And the dirty snow

Syracuse, photos, poetry, haiku

Another set of two.

2006-02-20T17:02:00.000-05:00

I was too hungover to write any poetry yesterday. I will let you know that my 21st birthday party was fabulous, however. ;)

Anyway, here's two to make up for yesterday, you know the drill, blah blah blah.

"Aftermath"

We’re all glued to the
Bed, lost amidst tangled sheets
And empty bottles

"To All the Nap Addicts"

Another nap is
What I need: soft bed, flannel sheets---
Hibernation nation.

haiku, poetry, parties, hangovers, naps, sleeping

Happy birthday, Mar!!!

2006-02-18T12:39:00.000-05:00

It's my 21st birthday today. Whoopee. This poem actually has very little to do with that, although I suppose in a stretch you could say it's about growing up. ;)

"Classified"

I need to find a
Real fucking job, to keep me
In booze, books, and shoes.

haiku, poetry, jobs, growing up, birthday

Two again...

2006-02-17T14:15:00.000-05:00

I did have this first one written yesterday and all ready to post. It's in response to people shit-talking my hometown. Which, I mean, eh, I'm allowed to make fun of Binghamton because I'm from here, but if you're not from here, shut the fuck up, k? Although the poem's more about us not letting our city die. Or something. Not my best work, but I guess it's a question of quantity, not quality, in this journal.

"Binghamton (We're Not Dead Yet)"

I’m not living in
A ghost town, there are people
Here, alive--- wake up!

This one is pretty self-explanatory, I think.

"A Change in Attitude"

I’m done pretending
This is who I am--- if you
Don’t like me, too bad

Really wanted "fucking" in that last line for emphasis as in "too fucking bad" but it would have fucked with my syllabe count. I say fuck too much. Fuck.

haiku, poetry, Binghamton, upstate New York, relationships

Two...

2006-02-15T11:42:00.000-05:00

I'm too sick to come up with anything decent this morning, but I did write two haiku last night during my bout of insomnia. Totally unrelated topics. The contrast is almost drastic.

"A Sign Writ in Black"

There’s a garish black
Ant crawling up the bathroom
Wall, thawed--- sign of spring

"Lust"

My body’s screaming for
You to push me against the wall and
Fuck me--- make it stop

haiku, poetry, spring, ants, lust, sexuality

When Valentine's Day Was Simple

2006-02-14T10:56:00.000-05:00

Happy V-Day, everyone!

"When Valentine's Day Was Simple"

In kindergarten
We all got valentines--- I
Wish I could go back.

haiku, poetry, Valentine's Day

The Problem With Hibernation

2006-02-13T13:06:00.000-05:00

Not that I'm trying to hibernate or anything, not me. ;)

"The Problem With Hibernation"

Hide behind gray sky
Disappear below the snow
Die every winter

haiku, poetry, winter

For Syracuse

2006-02-12T20:00:00.000-05:00

I took a trip today...

"For Syracuse"

Strange, but there’s beauty
In the burnt out factories
And the dirty snow

haiku, poetry, Syracuse, Upstate New York

Dark Days, Waiting for Spring

2006-02-11T23:13:00.000-05:00

So I was out canvassig today, and it was freaking freezing. And gray. Although I think I got a sunburn anyway cuz I'm special like that. Anyway, miserable day. Hence, inspiration.

"Dark Days, Waiting for Spring"

Christmas is over
There is no sparkle left in
Winter, only slush

haiku, poetry, winter, weather

Variations on Awkward

2006-02-10T19:13:00.000-05:00

I was busy yesterday, and then last night too. So here's two to make up for missing yesterday, and for an added bonus, they are on the same theme.

"Variations on Awkward"
for S---

i.
You make me feel
Ugly. Worse--- you make me feel
Dumb for letting you.

ii.
I’m stuck and confused---
You always leave me between
Laughing and crying.

haiku, poetry, relationships

Surprised by Sunshine

2006-02-08T13:14:00.000-05:00

It looks like spring out there... but I suspect that when I venture out, it will be much colder.

"Surprised by Sunshine"

Suddenly the sun
Fills the cold day with yellow
Foreign happiness

haiku, poetry, sunshine, weather

A Midwinter's Night, Walking My Dog

2006-02-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

"A Midwinter's Night, Walking My Dog"

Snowflakes brush my cheeks
I look for the moon but there’s
Only blue and black

Although technically I think it's more late winter than midwinter. I don't know, you'd have to ask Punxatawny Phil. Midwinter certainly sounds more poetic. I blame Shakespeare.

haiku, poetry, night, winter, the moon

We Should Never Hook Up

2006-02-06T13:51:00.000-05:00

I think the title says it all...

"We Should Never Hook Up"

Beers on our breath and
For a moment, you leaned in---
I saw the future

haiku, poetry, relationships

Pretending

2006-02-05T14:41:00.000-05:00

"Pretending"

Super Bowl Sunday
I don’t understand football
Just want to be cool

haiku, poetry, the Super Bowl, football

Asshole and Binghamton Weather

2006-02-04T18:15:00.000-05:00

Got busy and didn't write one yesterday... so here's two.

"Asshole"

Open your eyes--- you’re
Not God’s fucking gift to girls
And I don’t like you

"Binghamton Weather"

The sun stayed briefly
It’s gray and raining again
Least it’s not snowing

Groundhog Day

2006-02-03T01:25:00.000-05:00

Eh. Once again, this is showing up on Friday when it's really for Thursday, cuz it's late and technically Thursday morning. I did have it already to post at like 9:00 before I went out, but Blogger was being all freakish and not working. Anyway.

"Groundhog Day"

Yes, it’s Groundhog Day---
But for the first time years, I’m
Not stuck on repeat.

Bondage in the Morning

2006-02-01T13:13:00.000-05:00

"Bondage in the Morning"

I roll over, stretch
Try to move but sleepiness
Ties me to the bed

I bet you thought that was going to be kinky, didn't you? Ha, I wish.

Apathy

2006-02-01T01:04:00.000-05:00

This is actually for Tuesday, but it's like 1:00 at night, so it looks like it's on Wednesday. It's still Tues to me since I haven't gone to bed yet, lol.

"Apathy"

Seems like whatever
Path we choose doesn’t matter---
Either way we’re screwed.

Democracy

2006-01-30T14:07:00.000-05:00

"Democracy"

This word is alive---
It breathes; it’s dense; it has needs.
Feed democracy!

Something to Hide Behind

2006-01-29T09:44:00.000-05:00

"Something to Hide Behind"

I’m sorry if I
Talk too loud and laugh too much---
It’s my camouflage.

Hello, World

2006-01-28T13:24:00.000-05:00

"Hello, World"

Put my makeup on
Mask my features to face you
I tremble inside.

Four for the price of one!

2006-01-27T21:01:00.000-05:00

I've been sick since like Monday. Today was the first day I've been up to anything besides drinking Theraflu and sleeping. I am feeling much better, though, so here's today's poem and one for each of the three days I missed. Gotta post fast because I'm going out momentarily.

"Do More, Be More"

I’m this average
Middle class, little white girl
Changing nobody’s world.

"Wasted Effort"

January sun
Pale yellow and cold--- try to
Warm my empty bones.

"Beautiful Boy"

I’m sorry that I
Fixate on your beauty---
Forgive my small sins.

"By Spring, I'll Be Back to Normal"

If you wait for spring
I’ll be pretty again, then---
Winter kills my smile.

Routine

2006-01-23T12:28:00.000-05:00

"Routine"

Dad is an asshole.
Mom is pissed. I’m in the middle---
Gray morning at home.

Menstrual

2006-01-22T12:57:00.000-05:00

"Menstrual"

Cramps pain blood cramps pain---
Outside the sun is shining,
I’m stuck here, dying.

The Power of Vodka and Frozen Wanderer

2006-01-21T14:48:00.000-05:00

I suck. I so didn't post any haikus yesterday. Basically, I went out Thursday night, had a bit too fabulous of a time, and then spent yesterday in various stages of hungover-ness. Plus then I got my period which always makes me feel like I've been hit by a bus. I'm feeling a little better today, besides the OMG horrible cramps, so I wrote two haikus (so much work, you know, 5-7-5 syllable arrangement) to make up for yesterday.

"The Power of Vodka"

Seven vodka shots
Chased down with Sprite and root beer---
Night suddenly bright.

"Frozen Wanderer"

They tell me God is
Always here but I feel nothing---
Winter loves heathens.

Cordelia

2006-01-19T15:13:00.000-05:00

"Cordelia"

My dog rolls over,
Smiles at me and I know
Somebody loves me.

And for those of you who say dogs can't smile, I defy you to see the beautiful Miss Cordy with her lovely grin as someone rubs her belly.

Tomorrow's Disappointment

2006-01-18T13:12:00.000-05:00

"Tomorrow's Disappointment"

You can sing how the
Sun will come out tomorrow---
But it never does.

Sorry, Annie.

Missing: One Muse

2006-01-17T15:20:00.000-05:00

If you can't think of anything to write about, write about not being able to think of anything to write about. Or something like that. *g*

"Missing: One Muse"

My head is empty,
Blank. But I need a haiku---
Where’s my fickle muse?

Hibernation and January Morning

2006-01-16T13:57:00.000-05:00

Eek! I make a resolution to write a haiku a day and already I've failed! Yesterday, I just got busy and totally forgot. Anyway, I wrote two today in an attempt to make up for it.

"Hibernation"

Snow and ice outside
Children hid by scarves and hats---
Inside I sleep still.

"January Morning"

Monday morning and
The dog barks out the window
At the frosted world

Hopefully that's the only time I'll forget, but knowing myself as I do, it's probably only the first of many.

Room Raiders and Friday

2006-01-14T14:58:00.000-05:00

Here's today's haiku:

"Room Raiders"

Two AM, awake
Eyes on MTV, wondering
Who watches this shit--- me.

And since I started writing the haikus yesterday, but didn't start the blog until today, here's yesterday's:

"Friday"

Friday comes along
In a week without bearings
End is all there is

Mission Statement-ish

2006-01-14T11:27:00.000-05:00

So, I have all this time on my hands, since I'm taking the next semester off and have yet to find a job or any meaningful way of spending my time. (I'm thinking about starting yet another blog just on finding myself, OMG.) Anyway, the point I was trying to get to, is that with all of these endless number of minutes to fill up, I decided I want to write a lot more.

And then I decided to write a haiku a day. It's that simple, really. I'll post them here in this lovely blog.

Right now, I'm still working on formatting and stuff, besides the haikus. But the haikus, they are a comin'.